If you haven’t heard all the roar from a faction of Westwood homeowners over the years, including yesterday’s joint session of the PLUM and Transportation Committee hearing, bike lanes = doomsday!

Maybe I’m misrepresenting their position. It’s more like: theearthwillceasetoexistrainingcatsanddogsfireand brimstonecubswintheworldseriespresidentjustinbeibeapocalypticdooooommmmmsssdaaaayyyy!!!!!

Even with a plan that would keep all traffic lanes intact, we’re still seeing this high level of anxiety as the Mobility Plan looks to be ratified. Of course, there has been no viable solution given by this group except to stop densification.

This is the real world. Every corner of the city is facing this issue, but these homeowners hope they can become immune to it. It’s not happening. The era of widening the 405 is over(barely) and we’ve learned our lesson that catering to the car only begets more problems.

I’m not a PR person, but I’d like to believe I can come up with some better reasoning why bike lanes along Westwood Blvd. would spell doom. Here are some themes they should run with:

• Westwood Blvd. can’t afford any more gas stations closing.
• Bike lanes cost lives because the faster ambulances get you to the hospital, the sooner you’ll get done in by our healthcare system.

  

• Extra fire hazard potential created by all those people trying to see the Hollywood Sign
• An increase in heart disease among the general public now having better access to Diddy Riese!
• What if you’re on the bus and you get a call that if it slows down under 50 mph, it explodes and Keanu Reeves isn’t there to help?
• All those added drivers on side streets will find out Waze is a sham!(Waze employees only)
• Have you heard of Sharknado? It’s never happened without bike lanes. Do you want to risk it?
• The mobility plan does nothing to address our frivolous purchases of segways from late 90’s
• Think of the environment!
• The bike lanes will be underwater by 2030, so what’s the point?